Religion (read at your own risk)

I know this is a very touchy subject for most people and everyone has their own (strong) opinions, so here’s mine. There are a few things that are insulting to me and I hate to hear when people talk about the Catholic Church. If you’re an Atheist, I can respect your opinion, but those who are “Christians” and say the following really bothers me….

“I hate the Catholic Church because its all about money”
This bothers me to no end because that is such an ignorant outside view. You could go to church every week and not pay a cent and no one would say a word. The church is an establishment, it needs things like a furnace and repairs to run, but that’s not what its about and that’s not what it should be about for you. THE CHURCH IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT FOR YOURSELF! The church is for you. It’s a place for you and God. Everything else shouldn’t matter if you really have faith.

“The Catholic Church is corrupt”
Yes, everything is, we’re only human after all. But again, why should that matter to you? Again, the church is there for YOU, nothing else should matter.

“I don‘t need to go to church to pray” or “I’m against organized religions”
That’s true, you could easily stay home and do the same, but if you really believe in your faith, why wouldn’t you want to honor it properly every week? That’s like saying “I‘ll pray when its convenient for me.” If you really are religious, one would think you’d want to seek out every opportunity to honor your faith. Wouldn’t you want to take every opportunity offered and make it mean something to you?

These assumptions made by people make me SO sad because they’re getting the wrong idea. They’re missing out on so much and I feel bad for them. The church is not about money, the establishment, the priests, the corruption, its about YOUR relationship with God. Everything else is just an excuse. It should be a positive place, not something frowned upon by society. I hope one day more people come to realize this.

Honesty

This blog seems to be taking the path of brutal honesty and vulnerability. I’m putting myself completely out there, much like when I’m singing. Everything’s on the table for everyone to judge you. If people judge this blog, I’m fine with it because I’m really searching within myself as I post, so this is me, I can’t change it. Judge away!

This is my first blog since coming back to school. I’m in my 3rd year now and with 2 days in, so far so good. Some classes can be intimidating at times, but I’ve made it this far, I’m sure I can keep going. Since I started blogging, I notice I’m more aware of what’s around me. Like today, for example, it was snowing so I thought “how nice everything looks”, now normally I would’ve continued walking and never thought twice about it, but because of this blog, I actually stopped for a moment, really looked around and even took a picture. Maybe this is progress toward my goal of living in the moment opposed to the future.

Today was my first day of chorus. Singing is….. I can’t even find the words…. Its like releasing every bit of tension and stress and just breathing…. Symbolically I mean haha! Its like breathing new life into myself. Every time I sing it feels like taking a breath for the first time or drinking water when you’re absolutely parched. When you’re singing… you leave yourself and everything else behind and you’re in that moment…. Just you and the music, everything else falls away. Its such a beautiful thing. I know I wasn’t blessed with the best singing voice, but I’m been working hard for 6 years to get there. Its such a journey for me, I’ve struggled, been criticized, told to quit….. But that’s just it. I can’t quit, ever. Its IN me…. Its apart of me, I feel lost without it. Even though I’m not the best, I could never stop. I’ll get there one day, but that doesn’t even matter to me anymore. I just want to keep my soul alive and singing does that for me.

Reflecting….

Its 2011, a new year, new outlook on life… new goals. This blog is all about learning and growing… so I’m beginning to reanalyze myself, re-find myself because I think I got lost somewhere along the way. Its easy to get distracted in life. There are so many temptations that make it easy to get lost.. And I think I got lost.

2010 turned out to be really amazing in retrospect. I got to go to SDCC to see Smallville. That was such an AMAZING experience! I’m so grateful that I could go. This blog is about finding myself and Smallville is a large part of myself. Sure it’s a tv show, but we go way back lol I’m not gonna  go into anything super personal and only a few of you will know what I’m referring to… but I’ve grown up with it. We’ve been through so many relationships together (Smallville and I) and so far we’re the only ones still standing.  Yes, I’m sure I sound crazy right now, but it’s the truth. This show has been with me through it all. Its my escape to a better world with hope and love, how can that be bad?

I’ve come to realize that I don’t really know myself. I’m not confident in my own skin. I know what I want to be, but sometimes its hard for me to get there.. Or maybe I am there and I’m just too blind to see it. One thing I notice about myself is that I tend to live in the future. I’m always wishing time away to get to what I’m waiting for. I rarely take time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. This probably should be fixed, but I can’t promise that it will be.

Heroes. I have several of them and they are very important to me. They embody what I wish to become. They are wonderful people, flawed of course, but who isn’t? Still, I look up to them so much… and because of that, I get lost here too. There’s this quote from a wonderful little musical that applies here, “I wanted to become an actress, but what I really wanted was to be someone else”.  Do I really know what I want to become? Or do I just want to keep pretending, keep the facade?

Sometimes I get so caught up in these distractions, I lose what’s right in front of me, family…. friends… my life. I want this life in my head SO badly, I lose what I have. I guess until I find a balance between both worlds, I’ll be lost forever….

Introductions

Hello blog readers! Welcome! Thank you for visiting my blog! If your reading this, then I'm sure you already know something about me, but for those just passing by, let me tell you a little about my life.

Basics:

Name: Jennifer
Age: 21
Birthday: September 8, 1989
Hobbies: Singing, painting, and traveling

My School: Junior at Youngstown State University - Chemical Engineering + Theater

Family...

I'm an only child and live with both of my parents (except when I'm at school).

This is my dad and best friend...

This my ADORABLE cat, Fluffy... I got her when I was 6, now she's 14 years old and I couldn't imagine my life without her. She's definitely a member of the family.

 

A week in the life...

Usually when I'm not in school my weeks are pretty laid back, but still full of events.

Monday - We go out to eat then I go to bingo with my mom (don't laugh, I'm averaging $200 a month in winnings!)

Tuesday - Its my dad's day off, so we usually go to a movie, mini golfing, the park, the zoo, or some other fun place together. Me and mom go bingo at night

Wednesday - My dad is also off, but we usually don't do anything this day. However, we go out to eat as a family and then my FAVORITE time of the week.... SINGING LESSONS!!! I got to my hour lessons and I LOOOOOVE it! Going to lessons is like repairing my soul. Its magical.

Thursday - Pretty boring, we just go out to eat and come home.

Friday - LOOOVE Fridays because my favorite show is on, Smallville! Me and dad always watch it together. AND another one of my favorite shows, Ghost Adventures, is on that night as well.

Saturday - Me and mom go out for breakfast and then we all go to church at night.

Sunday - FOOTBALL!!!! I LOOOVE my Sunday afternoon football games! I usually make myself a latte and enjoy the game (esp if the Steelers win!)


Well that's all for now blog readers! Thank you for your interest and hope you join me on this journey of blogging :)